I read an article on Tiny Buddha that said, “Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they give us a sense of identity. Perhaps this explains why we often hold onto our pain far beyond its ability to serve us.”
I have a tendency to do just that: hold on to problems for far too long. I never really stopped to think to myself, “What purpose does this serve? What am I gaining by holding on to this?” The short answer is nothing.
I have a lot of experience with this in dealing with my mom; we don’t see eye to eye on many things. If I see her after a hair appointment, she’ll say, “Oh, why did you do that to your hair? I liked it better before.” If I try to tell her about an accomplishment or experience, she cuts me off and starts talking about her tennis team. She’s constantly calling me last minute to demand I show up somewhere in an hour, regardless of my schedule or plans. She is a major control freak.
But that’s just who she is.
Not much time goes by before I start to rant and vent about how frustrated I am. Eventually, my boyfriend told me that I needed to just let it go. This is who she is, and she’s not going to change, so my only option is to change how I react to the situation. My anger is only hurting myself, so why hold on to it?
Now don’t get me wrong, she is my mom and I love her. Every so often, we get along famously and have a great day together, but we are completely different people (sometimes I wonder how we are even related). She has provided me with wonderful opportunities throughout my life and I know she’s always there if I really need her. Who else would let their 24 year old daughter sleep in bed with them and cry after a break-up (yes, that happened four years ago)? But when it comes to our communication with each other, we suck at it.
So I’m turning a new leaf in my relationship with her and letting things go. Life will never be simple, so it’s best to accept that fact and attempt to live more peacefully.
Today’s Think Kit prompt: “What was the wisest decision you made this year?”